I'm going to do what?

I'm sitting here in Sandy, Oregon...after moving here only in June, and I'm planning a move back to Colorado. We moved here because we thought it would be the best thing for our little girl. Here in Sandy, they have a great special education program, and we wanted Ari to have the best. The school IS great, but, her issues have loomed larger...and to meet her needs, she needs to leave and probably be homeschooled. Now, I wonder, me? Do that? Ariana is chronologically 7 years old, but, many important parts of her are probably about 3 1/2 to 4 yrs old, at the most. She is just developmentally not "there" yet. Now, I am always doubting myself, or at least have in the past with everything. I knew this when we moved, but, I stayed strong with the line that someone else had to teach her, someone else has to "fix" this, some really important college graduated teaching person who knew what they were doing. I couldn't do it. I then met an incredible author who has much wisdom dealing with kids who have fetal alcohol syndrome, and the best thing, we do clearly see, is to put together a program with her, homeschooling, tutors, etc. believing if we do that, she will not be further traumatized.

I am nervous though moving back, one of the hardest things I've found with Ariana is the expectations OTHER people have of her...I don't know if its a cultural thing or what, but people don't seem to embrace her. She is considered a pain in the neck I think by most people, probably because her needs are so great. If she meets you for instance, she wants to play with you, she wants your attention, she wants you to stop your life, and BE with her. It makes me so sad that in this "real" world, its a rare thing that someone is willing to do that. We all have our own agendas...and really, (personal opinion, here, but, what the heck, its MY blog) children are not treasured in this society. Or at least treated as the important little persons they are. If they are smart, cute, ready and willing to do what an adult says...ok, but, mostly it seems they are to be seen and not heard. I'll tell you....that is the absolute opposite of what my girl is. She demands everything you have, and more...in fact, you can't spend any real amount of time with her without having to face something about yourself...she's that intense.

So, another change, but, there are great things about it. We'll be moving back to our son and his wife, and our two grandbabies. THAT is a great thing. I need to remember, we're moving back to another chance for miracles, and believe, even when I can't believe, that God IS in control, and wants great things for all his children. I get to be with family for Thanksgiving, how blessed am I?